Hokage of All
by Kinetic Sleeper
Summary: A series of oneshots focusing on different characters as Kage, fighting the insecurities they feel in their position.
1. Thought

**Thought**

Rain. It always seemed to rain during a shinobi's funeral. Maybe it was a non-existent god's one merciful act in a life of unfairness- because no one can tell if you're crying when it's raining_._ But Kakashi didn't cry at this funeral. He never cried at a funeral, because that meant showing a _weakness_, showing that he felt pain _just as keenly _as his people. But he couldn't do that. As the Hokage of Konoha, he always had to be strong, _he_ had to be the one comforting the mourners, not the one being comforted. It didn't matter that when he was alone, when no one was around, he would curl himself up into a tight ball, with one thought running through his mind.

_Did I do the right thing?_

* * *

In the growing darkness of the Hokage's office, Kakashi sat wearily in his chair, gazing blankly at the paper in front of him. He absent-mindedly began tapping his hand on his desk, his mind drifting further and further away from his official duties, where it really should have been. A sharp tap at the door quickly brought him back to reality.

"Come in." he called, smiling as he watched his blonde ex-student walked into the office.

"Se-… Hokage-sama. I was wondering if I could speak to you about my team's next misson." Kakashi raised an eyebrow slightly at Naruto quick change of words. It saddened him slightly that the young boy who had called him sensei so long ago was all grown up now; yet was proud that he had turned out to be such a fine, mature man, one of his top-ranked jounins.

"Is there something wrong with it?" Kakashi asked, smiling wryly. He knew what was going to come next.

"Not really…_wrong_ with it…It's just… Well, we've been doing C-rank missions for over a year now and quite frankly, I think my team is ready for a harder challenge. Is it possible for you to assign us a B-rank?" Kakashi grinned.

"So, you've decided, with no input from anyone else at all, that your team is ready for harder missions?"

"Hmm… Kaito _might_ have done a little convincing, too." Kakashi smirked.

"Kaito, huh? He really reminds me of a certain someone when he was younger." Naruto looked back at his Hokage, a slight blush on his face.

"Well, I was really quite an immature brat back then." Both men began chuckling slightly, as memories came to the surface of their minds. Still smiling, Kakashi nodded his head slightly in consent.

"Alright. I'll consider changing your mission. Report to the mission desk tomorrow and see if they've got anything else for you."

Kakashi watched the blonde man (no, _boy_) leave his office, pride and regret mixing together as he thought of his old students.

* * *

When Naruto's team came back, heavily injured but still very much alive, Kakashi spent a long time lecturing them all on the importance of staying _level-headed_ during a fight and if they came back from a mission dead due to recklessness, he was going to be at their funeral saying _I told you so_. Kakashi was shocked at his slight lack of composure, but everyone else put it down to the pressures of being Hokage. When Kakashi finally got home, he locked himself in his bedroom and shut all his blinds. Then he curled up into a tight ball on his bed, one thought running through his mind.

_Did I do the right thing?_

* * *

Kakashi looked up as one of his ANBU's appeared in his office. He was alone, dripping with blood, but his voice was smooth and without a tremble as he spoke.

"I'm sorry, Hokage-sama. The mission failed. Badger is dead and Snake is in the hospital with critical injuries." There was no emotion in the masked man's voice, but Kakashi could feel the raw pain radiating from him. At least, he thought he could; it might have been his own pain he was feeling. With a curt nod, Kakashi dismissed him, telling him to go straight to the hospital to get treated for his own injuries.

For a long time, he sat in his office, the day growing older as he methodically finished all his work, all of it except that red slip, first pushed to the side of his desk, then hidden under another pile of papers, finally floating to the floor. Then he picked it up. And he filled it in. And when he was alone, he curled up into a tight ball, with one thought running through his mind.

_Did I do the right thing?_

**

* * *

A random thing that came to me, inspired by uzumaki rakku's fic 'The Girl at the Missions Desk'. I would recommend you all go read it, it's absolutely beautiful ^^. I know this one is short and it ends quite abruptly, but, as usual, I ran out of inspiration at the end…**


	2. Bets

**Bets**

Tsunade hated gambling. Whenever she watched the money slipping through her fingers, she felt like her life was just one big loss after loss, forever piling up. Perhaps that was partly why she didn't want to become Hokage – there was too much gambling involved in the job and everyone knew Tsunade was a terrible gambler. Even when she did win...nothing good ever came of it.

Tsunade's first gamble was after Nawaki's death. She gave her crystal necklace to Dan, betting with all her heart that he would be Hokage one day, that there would be peace in Konoha under him. She lost that bet. After that, she lost all faith in the Hokage, in Konoha, in _herself_. So she left the village and took up gambling, hoping to win back something to fill her empty heart. But all that happened was loss after loss, forever piling up.

She hated watching money slip through her fingers, loss upon loss piling up in her life. But she _just couldn't_ stop. Because every time the jackpot fattened her purse again, she knew it was time to steel her mind and wipe her face blank. Tragedy was once again about to hit.

Every shinobi she sent out on a new mission was yet another gamble. Sometimes she won, sometimes she lost – but each time someone successfully completed a mission and came back alive, she felt her heart clench, wondering what new disaster it meant for her and the village she loved. Then she started doubting herself again, terror filling her as she thought of the countless people who lived by her decisions and _oh god, what the hell am I doing playing at Hokage I'm killing these people, shit, shit, sh-_. It was usually at this point that she fell forward onto her desk in a sake induced coma, the bottle dropping from her hand. Whenever Shizune found her like this, she just sighed and moved her to the couch, never knowing the terrible thoughts running through her Hokage's mind. When Tsunade woke up again, she'd push down last night's thoughts, down, down as far as it would go. There was no more time for these thoughts. She had another day of gambling ahead of her.

The day Jiraiya left, he told her to bet that he would come back dead – she was such a terrible gambler, she was sure to lose the bet. As she watched his receding back, she made a bet that he would come back alive, just to defy him, because she was the _Hokage_ damn it, since when did she listen to Jiraiya? But in her heart of hearts, she bet that she'd never see him again. Nothing good ever came out of Tsunade winning a bet.

Nara Shikaku's eyes were closed in concentration when he warned her against using Mabui's teleportation technique. Even as she replied "_My life is a different story. I'm still alive, aren't I?_" old feelings began rising up, memories of the days she'd recklessly gambled her life, wishing and wishing she'd lose as usual, falling on the ground in tears when she didn't. But this time, she ruthlessly pushed them away, because this was no time for self-doubt, no time to lose a bet on her life. And when the five kages gathered to face their enemy, she no longer feared losing.

* * *

**I originally posted 'Thought' by itself, but then this idea of Tsunade's gambling kind of came at me...As I was wondering what to post it under, I came up with the idea of doing a series of oneshots, with different characters as Hokage (or a Kage of some sort, depending on the character). I'm kind of making it up as a I go along, so there won't be regular updates, neither will the characters be in any particular order. There may also be repeats, because this other idea for Kakashi is kind of niggling at me...Anywayz, despite its brevity, I hope you enjoyed this oneshot =). Though I know it's not quite as good as 'Thought'...**


End file.
